Community & Solitude: An English Honors Thesis

"Community and Solitude, Words and Silence: A Nouwen-Inspired Journey"

Inspiration for this creative writing project was drawn from Henri Nouwen’s Out of Solitude, which is one of the books that shaped my experience in Orvieto, Italy. Nouwen writes, "The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the Christian life… Let us therefore look somewhat closer, first at our life in action, and then our life in solitude."

Using examples from my home in New Hampshire, my home in Orvieto, and other places that may be unconventional “homes” such as a field hockey field or summers on the lake, these nonfiction stories are some of the most transformative experiences in my life. A few stories are about family times while others are about growing spiritually, but all of these pieces are situated in both place and relationship.

I will be posting different stories from the collection. I'm not sure if I will post all of the stories (there are 12 in total) because of the people and situations involved, but I will definitely post some of my favorites. :)

This is the full Henri Nouwen quote. I would've quoted the whole book - since it's so short - but I especially love this part: 

"Somewhere we know that without silence words lose their meaning, that without listening speaking no longer heals, that without distance closeness cannot cure. Somewhere we know that without a lonely place our actions quickly become empty gestures. The careful balance between silence and words, withdrawal and involvement, distance and closeness, solitude and community forms the basis of the Christian life… Let us therefore look somewhat closer, first at our life in action, and then our life in solitude."

Italy prep

My mom picked these up at the library... I've only looked at one of them yet.  There's too much to learn!

I'm pretty sure that everyone at home assumes that I've dropped out of college. When they see me at the grocery store, working at the Youth Center, or running other errands, they say, "So... what're you doing these days? Are you going back to school?" Then I quickly explain that yes, I'm going back - well, I'm not going back to Gordon this Spring - but I'm going to Italy. Then usually then respond with "Oh, are you doing anything there?" (probably wondering why I'm not in school but I'm going on a vacation in Italy for four months) I then continue to hurriedly explain that I'm taking classes there... I just have a suuuuuper long break. 

So even though I still have a month until I leave on February 22nd, I feel like I'm going to leave any day now because it's all I ever think about and the only thing people ask me about! Also, three of my roommates from the fall are already abroad right now (Kelly in Scotland, Kayla in Uganda, and Becca in New Zealand), so I feel like it should be almost my time to go now... but I still have weeks before I'll really start to pack all the little things.  

And this is embarrassing... but ever since my grandparents bought me a suitcase set for Christmas, I've been putting clothes in and out of it, trying to plan out how much I can possibly take with me. Whenever I go shopping (which has been a few times over break because I love shopping), I am torn between buying clothes that will be good to bring with me, or saving my money to buy clothes once I'm there. Seriously... it's a constant battle every time I go into the store. Usually I "compromise" by saving my money and then going back the next day to buy it. So really I'm just saving my money for 24 hours.  But that's still saving it... Sort of.

Some of the stuff that I have so far...

Pretty much this pile changes every day because I'm always wearing these clothes, they're in the laundry, etc. 

Anyways... now I've revealed that I'm a weirdo who packs for a trip 1-2 months before the actual trip. I think the main reason why I'm so concerned with packing is because it's one of the only concrete things I can do to prepare. I don't know what Italy will be like - the people, the food, the classes, being away from home/family/friends - but I do know how to pack! So I'm pretty sure I'm just channelling my nervousness into packing because it's something that I can do right now. And it's a nice challenge - trying to fit the maximum amount of outfits in the best possible way, along with toiletries and books and other important stuff. I love it. So I'm sure I'll pack and repack my suitcases a few more times before it's actually time to do it for real... but oh well. I have a ton of free time now since I dropped out of college, right? 

What I've been reading over break:

If I had a million hours in the day, I would most likely watch every show on TLC, bask in the sun by the pool (assuming it's summer), listen to Coldplay & the Goo Goo Dolls on repeat, write letters, make every meal a picnic outside, hang out with my friends, and read read read read read. Unfortunately, when I wake up at 11 or 11:30 every day I only accomplish the first item on my list: watching every show on TLC. Occasionally I make it to the gym and hang out with friends but that's the extent of my recent days at home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about my endless hours of leisure time at all (even though this is going to be quite the shock when I head back to school on the 18th). Anyways, the point of this is that reading is one of my top favorite things to do in the world and I miss reading at school! I definitely read enough textbooks and other required books for class, but I miss having hours in the day to read outside in a hammock, preferably. The hammock part can be flexible. For example, I'm perfectly content when I'm swaddled up in my blankets during the winter while reading a book. Sooooo... here's a little glimpse of what I've been reading over the past month:

The first book I read over vacation was The Hunger Games. I can't remember if I posted about my frantic I'm-going-to-read-this-in-five-hours-without-stopping encounter with this book, but it came and went between the hours of 9:30pm-2:30am on Christmas night. I then read the next two books within the following 2-3 days! They were so good. Can't wait for the movie!

I've read excerpts from Bird by Bird in my Great Conversation class and my Intro to Creative Writing class, and during both readings in class I've embarrassingly chuckled out loud and then once I realized that great, my laughter is louder than I thought, I've had to resort to the I'm not laughing but I'm just shaking uncontrollably because I can't even hold in my giggles. Long story short, I find this book hilarious and I had to buy it for Creative Writing: Nonfiction this semester. Naturally, I decided to read it and I've laughed through every chapter. It's pretty much Anne Lamott sharing her tips and tricks about writing and how it doesn't always come natural to even the most successful writers. 

My mom bullied me into reading this one (she bullied me into reading The Hunger Games, too). I'm only about 1/4 of the way through it, but I'm seriously addicted. It's about a minor character in the Bible, Dinah, and her life and the lives of other women during that time. As Dinah is the only daughter of Jacob, all of the mothers use Dinah as a means of carrying on all of their own stories. That's not the best description but hopefully you get the idea. It's really good so far. 

New book

So I just rolled outta bed and turned on the TV (something I don't usually do because the commercials frustrate me and I'd rather watch stuff online), and GLEE is performing on Ellen so this is pretty much the best morning ever even though I've been up for all of .5 seconds. So good. Anyways, I have a very exciting day today: pick up Emily from finals at 11:15, eat breakfast/lunch/dinner/snacks, lay outside in the grass while I work on my bronze, annnnnd start my field hockey workout YAY!

Yesterday, for father's day, we went to my grandparents house which was great. I got to eat a lot and read my book that Papa suggested. It's about this guy who hiked the whole Appalachian Trail and it's HILARIOUS. Seriously. I was reading our on their front porch with Emily and she was getting slightly annoyed that I was cracking up at every paragraph, and proceeding to read her the passage (or try to read it without laughing too much). Unfortunately, I'd have to read the funny parts to her twice because halfway through reading them I would remember how hilarious it was and then become incomprehensible. Ah, so good.