Lists, routines, and my Google calendar

If I could get paid to make lists, I would. I can make lists all. day. long. I could make a lists of all the kinds of lists I have and it would still be enjoyable for me to make this giant list of lists. Is that confusing?

In the amount of time that it makes me to write these lists and color code the lists, I could easily DO EVERYTHING ON THE LISTS.

In addition to note pads and sticky notes: my Google calendar. MTV True Life: I'm addicted to my Google calendar. I can spend all afternoon planning when I'm going to do my laundry, go grocery shopping, take a workout class, etc etc.

Like... the addiction is so real. Also the color coding is everything. Do I sound crazy yet?

I plan and I move things around and then suddenly the day comes and goes and I was 1) late to everything because I packed it all close together and 2) I was absent / not being a good listener at all of the coffee dates and dinner dates that I planned because I was worried if I was going to be late to the next "appointment."

Anyways. The point of this is that my life is so scheduled and I purposely make it that way. When I don't have a schedule, I get nervous and when I don't have social plans or a LIST, I start to frantically text friends to schedule something. Anything. A phone call or a coffee date.

In my [stressed out but very organized] mind, every minute should be spent doing something productive, whether that's for my health, for my job, for my friendships, for my spiritual wellbeing, for my financial wellbeing, etc etc.

Me all of the time:
"I should be hanging out with a friend I haven't seen in a while"
"I should write a novel or two, perhaps a memoir"
"I should call that person back"
"I should be reading my devotional book"
"I should really lesson plan of the rest of the year and maybe next year too"
"I should be reading a book for fun"
"I should be organizing my sock drawer"
"I should get another job to support my lifestyle aka mani pedis and Somerville coffee shops"
"I should be donating all of my clothes to charity"
"I should start training for that marathon I've always considered running"
"I should be meal prepping for the week so I don't have to eat oatmeal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner"

Suddenly the tasks that shouldn't be tasks at all (working out - like, I always feel better and happier after I do this. Or reading a book - also something that always makes me feel better) become checks off my to-do list and all of the parts that make them enjoyable are gone. I'm just doing it to get it done.

Here's to making fewer lists and obsessing over time well spent. I need this reminder to actually LIVE my life instead of planning out how I'm going to live it by organizing and reorganizing the order in which I'll complete these small, often unimportant tasks.

But like, I also might really write a novel or run a marathon - who knows. Either way, it won't happen unless I take it off the list and actually DO IT!